btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
