you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
