Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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