she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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