can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize