it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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