Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
