My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
