Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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