it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
