you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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