She said her name was "party"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize