and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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