i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
