my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize