I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
