What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
