My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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