so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
