I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
