I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
