hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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