Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
