he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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