She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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