shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
