...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
