He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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