He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize