If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
