I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
