I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
