we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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