I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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