Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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