does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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