i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize