He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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