We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pants are for mortals
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
