My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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