I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
