is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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