Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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