I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
