we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
