is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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