I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
