so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
