i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
