i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
