Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
