Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize