Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
