the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
