belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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