Im at strip club and am horny
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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