I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
