I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
