i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize