When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
