What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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