That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
