I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
