Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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