it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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