She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
