Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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