i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
