Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
