I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
