Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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