you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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