I wish I could teleport
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
